Men and Women are Made Not Born Essay Example for Free

People are Made Not Born Essay In this paper I will expound on how ladies and men are made not conceived. I will beintroducing various societies and their perspectives on people, how ladies at onestage in time didn't reserve any privileges to become what they needed, I will give my thoughts onthe subject and I will likewise explore different creators work to get an alternate assortment about whywomen and men are made not conceived. Right off the bat I will begin by investigating various societies and their lifestyles. This reallyinterests me since it is acceptable to perceive how various individuals and their nations truly andfrom one another. In Australia people are equal,they both can work in any activity they want, the two of them reserve the option to cast a ballot and do battle. It was not generally like this however in Australia, it was quite a while until ladies got equalright to men. It was the nineteenth century when ladies were given the option to cast a ballot andto represent political decision into parliament. In spite of the fact that it was not until the 1960s to the 1970swhen ladies picked up equity with men with work, the law and general social standing. Ifwe investigate an entirely unexpected nation like Afghanistan, ladies are made bytheir fathers and spouses. Marriage for ladies is picked by their families, ladies mustbe totally secured by a long cover and joined by a male relative when theyleave the house and ladies must do what they are told by their dads and spouses. Soas we can see, it is hard for ladies in Afghanistan to become what they need and be whothey need to be. Another culture I need to take a gander at is the way ladies became men in the mountains ofNorthern Albania. A young lady or her folks could choose to make them a male, circumstanceswhich would emerge so as to do so would be that their spouses or fathers kicked the bucket at war orhad passed on from different reasons, so the wives or girls would take on the lead job for thehousehold. They would become men on the off chance that they needed to work and assemble their communitiesinto something better, for instance, working in the Communist Party Action Group, youcould just be a male to be a part. So as to escape an orchestrated marriage orprotection against the capturing and dealing of young ladies, it was simpler for girlsto become men. What I am attempting to state with exploring various societies is that in certain nations menand ladies can pick how they need their lives to turn out and make a future forthemselves not at all like different nations where people groups lives are compensated for them. Another way we could take a gander at the theme Men and Women are Made Not Born is thatmen and ladies need to gain what they need to accomplish, they are not simply brought into the world with theirtalents. For instance, in the event that an individual works superbly for somebody, at that point they are going torecommend them to others, in this way accomplishing a decent notoriety. As ( Mead, G 2007,p. 29) cites oneself is something which has a turn of events: it isn't at first there abirth, however emerges during the time spent social experience and action. This implies whenchildren are conceived they don't quickly have the social aptitudes they require in life to dowell for themselves. The youngster needs to experience an improvement which gradually teachesthem their fundamental abilities. It is dependent upon the person to choose what they need to accomplish in life,they have the decision to carry on their instruction in what ever field they decide to bettertheir risks in the work power. The equivalent in the work power, individuals need to betterthemselves to show improvement over others, to contend with the opposition so as to get thejob. With an individual developing themselves in all sort of angles, they are probably going to geta great notoriety and make a big deal about themselves. This demonstrates the heading Men andWomen are Made Not Born. In Australia it is a free nation, everyone has the privilege to do or become what they wantto become. I accept the term people are made not conceived, to imply that it is up toboth people to make their lives and accomplish what they need throughout everyday life. Everybodyis their own one of a kind individual. Regardless of whether they are Australian, Chinese, Asian, American andso on, with their very own convictions. I surmise the fundamental explanation I have concentrated on culturesis in light of the fact that I accept that a people culture massively affects the ways of life theylive which forms a person into their own remarkable, uncommon individual. References: Variables that realized the womens development, www.skwirk.com.auAlessandro Monsutti, Culture of AFGHANISTAN, www.everyculture.comBessant, J. Watts, R. (2007) Sociology Australia, Allen Unwin. NSW. Gardner, J. (1987) Atlas of the World, Australia: Readers Digest. McWhirter, N. (1999) Book of Millennium Records, Virgin Publishings: Great Britain. Youthful, A. 2007, Once Were Women, Good Weekend, 20st October, 47-48. Mead, G 2007, The Self in Classic Readings in Sociology, Mind, Self and Society, pp25-32

Teenage Addiction to the Internet

Young Addiction to the Internet Research Topic Youngsters and Internet Theory Teenagers’ time on the web is expanding step by step and it’s turning into an awful fixation, so it’s the obligation of their folks to have legitimate minds them and discover approaches to lessen the time spent on web. Bolster Section 1 Strength of the youngster. Thought 1 - Time spent on the web. Sources Thought 2 - Adequate rest schedule. Thought 1-(Charles, 2010) Studies has demonstrated that few guardians are contributing a great deal of time and cash on the most proficient method to shield their adolescents from spending or burning through the greater part of their time on the PC and the web. Thought 2-(Norbert, 2010) On the off chance that a teenager likes to play online computer games, there are chances that he may not be distant from everyone else. It ought to be noticed, that a youngster doesn't broadly botches numerous social chances or going through close to 24 hours in seven days in the web based gaming field, there may be something incorrectly. It ought to be noticed that how much precisely your young person is investing energy in the web. Thought 3-(Ilyas, 2012) It is the obligation of the guardians to have a mind their teenagers’ wellbeing and appearance. To see potential effects on their wellbeing positive or negative, and afterward choose what should be done as their subsequent stage. Thought 4-(John, 2010) Youngsters ought to be increasingly urged to take part in open air exercises and not simply sit on the web and burn through their time since investing an excess of energy in the web gravely influences teenagers’ wellbeing and including in other outside exercises add to progression in wellbeing. Thought 3 - Possible effects Thought 4 - Alternatives Bolster Section 2 Are the teenagers’ giving sufficient opportunity to their folks? Potential effects on the relationship? Thought 1 - Teenagers’ space. Sources Thought 2 - the earth. Thought 1-(Charles, 2010) On the off chance that your young person is utilizing broad web and you think about it since you are concerned, approach him/her as you are companions, don’t push too hard that they begin concealing things from their folks. Thought 2-(Ilyas, 2012) Guardians should begin by setting a fixed time permitted to utilize the web or their young person. They ought to be dependable of normally checking what their young people are doing on the web. Spending an excess of hours on the web should disheartened by the guardians. Thought 3-(Norbert, 2010) Joint endeavors ought to be made by the two guardians and youngsters. It’s the obligation of teenagers’ to win the certainty of their folks with the goal that they share a connection of trust and things don't escape hands. Thought 4-(Russ, 2014) Opportunity is everyone’s right and it ought to be given to the adolescents however it ought to likewise be seen that an excessive amount of opportunity ruins the young person, as a lot of opportunity on utilizing the web ought not be allowed by guardians. There is consistently a cutoff to everything. Thought 3 - Teenagers’ obligation. Thought 4 - Freedom. Bolster Section 3 Social issue that emerges when teenagers’ are dependent on the web. Thought 1 - Opportunities Sources Thought 2 - The products and negatives Thought 1-(John, 2010) Specialists have inferred that over 90% of the adolescents concur with the way that web has made their life helpful and they truly need it. Furthermore, it was additionally expressed without web a teenagers’ life becomes non-social, no data about what is happening and they can't shop on the web. Teenagers’ need web in their lives to associate with individuals and they are uninformed of the way that burning through an excessive amount of time is depleting out their vitality which could be spend some place increasingly gainful. Thought 2-(Norbert, 2010) Considering the entirety of the exercises that youngsters are doing on the web, guardians ought to have the option to distinguish when an opportunity as far as possible on the utilization of the web is or when their teen’s propensity is transforming into a terrible fixation. Nonetheless, it could be contended that there are youngsters who might utilize web to help them in their examinations and as the time has passed an ever increasing number of adolescents are utilizing web to gain cash. Utilizing web can either construct a teenager’s life or devastate it. Thought 3-(Charles, 2010) Guardians nowadays have become more worry about their kids turning young people, and as the time is passing their fixation with the web are expanding time to time. Guardians are the main individuals who can deal with this issue including their teenagers’ life. Thought 4-(Norbert, 2010) It is acceptable that your young person is effectively taking parts in social exercises and making a ton of companions and yet there is something that should be viewed as that not every person on social stages utilizing web can be trusted and this may prompt wrecking your teenagers’ life in light of the fact that there are numerous instances of such nature. Thought 3 - Solution to the issue. Thought 4 - Social life. COUNTERARGUMENTS What are the potential impacts of web? Thought 1 - Internet and Positivity. Sources Answer - Teenagers’ profitability utilizing web. Thought 1-Russ, W. (2014) Web has gotten something beyond an asset and isn't fit for causing individuals to acquire utilizing the web in their home and this can be viewed as an exceptionally beneficial outcome on an adolescent who is gaining using the web. Thought 2 (John, 2010) Adolescents starting today approaches various of administrations effectively realistic on the PC with the assistance of the web. Adolescents of today have quit utilizing phone and they are increasingly happy with utilizing texting or talking. They lean toward posting their photographs in MySpace and offer them with a large number of companion, for the most part of them are companion they haven’t met. They have all the data and the news utilizing the web on their cell phones. Thought 3-(Ilyas, 2012) Utilizing broad web can wreck the life of a youngster. Web is an asset with various prospects and individuals around the globe are really utilizing this in the most unlawful manner. Along these lines, it is the obligation of the guardians to have certain checks as their young person doesn't engage in any kind of criminal behavior. Thought 2 Web and virtual data. Reply - Having information and data is something to be thankful for, really it is considered as an aptitude in a young person to be dynamic and think about what’s going on yet it ought to be constantly noticed that this thing doesn't escape hands for instance having data of unlawful stuff or movement or in any event, engaging in one utilizing the web. Thought 3 - Negative impacts Rejoinder You can't simply prevent your adolescent from utilizing web since this would be wrong. In any case, on the off chance that you sense some doubt in your teenagers’ exercises, at that point you can stand up to him/her and make them mindful of the potential results. Sources Charles, L. (2010). Young people, Computers Internet. Recovered from http://ezinearticles.com/?Teenagers,- Computers-and-Internetid=3619685 Ilyas, G. (2012). Young people can't make due without Internet (Essay). Recovered from http://fal0014gp10.blogspot.com/2012/10/youngsters can't endure without_2365.html John, W. (2010). Young people and Internet Use Teens Outsmart Parents. Recovered from http://ezinearticles.com/?Teenagers-and-Internet-UseTeens-Outsmart-Parentsid=4609326 Norbert, G. (2010). Your Teenager and the Internet The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Recovered from http://ezinearticles.com/?Your-Teenager-and-the-InternetThe-Good,- the-Bad-and-the-Uglyid=3758823 Russ, W. (2014). Without WiFi, Life Would End (otherwise known as Teen Internet Addiction). Recovered from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/russ-warner/without-wifi-life-would-e_b_5367578.html

21 Firsts

21 Firsts It’s been 3.5 years since I came to the United States from Nigeria, to study at MIT. In 2017, this ongoing chapter of my life promises to close. I graduate in June, if all goes well. A short while afterward, I celebrate my 21st birthday. Just a week ago, I imagined one version of what the future may look like. I suppose this is a sequel of sorts, one that threads through the pages of an established past. The years since my coming to USA, to MIT, have been some of the most monumental years of my life. I came to experience several things for the first time. These are some of them. ** 1. First time using a washing machine. My first time in the States was prefixed by living with my aunt and her family in Virginia, prior to starting orientation at MIT. Even then, I was still experiencing the first signs of culture shock: jetlag manifesting as odd sleep cycles and slight unease, buildings and roads whose structures were recognizable yet somewhat alien, intensely fast internet. And washing machines. In Nigeria, washing machines exist, but they aren’t common, and they certainly weren’t present at home. As such, like alien spaceships and McDonalds, they were relegated to Hollywood cinema for me. We washed our clothes by filling two buckets with water, one in which we soaked the clothes in detergent, and the other in which we rinsed them. Each fabric was picked up, scrubbed diligently, transferred to the rinse bucket, then pegged to a clothesline in the backyard to dry in the sun over the course of days. Rainy days were especially annoying, as they would prolong the drying time, or in cases of strong wind, would unpeg clothes, sending two hours of work flying into the sand. This was a fun, if monotonous, weekly ritual. I always used this opportunity to plug my tangled earphones into my MP3 player and rock out to P-Square and Styl-Plus, two of my favorite Nigerian musical groups. That first week performing laundry in the US was a little like magic, staring at this alien device, this thing of the movies. With the strange buttons and knobs and labels. My aunt helped me figure out how to use a washer and a dryer, and some tiny part of me was doubtful of the entire process. Then, two hours later, I was pulling clean, sweet-smelling clothes out of the dryer. It was mindblowing. Fast forward to the present, and my lazy head now considers doing the laundry mildly stressful. But once upon a time, it was magic, and if I think about it long enough, it still is. 2. First time pulling an all-nighter. I’d never stayed up for more than twenty four hours, not to my recollection anyway, until my very first night on the MIT campus. But I’d been up all day soaking in the endless activities freshmen could partake in. I ate free food from every dorm and living group I could traverse, a nontrivial chunk of which was liquid nitrogen ice-cream. I jumped on a large bouncy house and listened in on upperclassmen, who at the time had the aura of mystical gods, talk about why they chose their majors. Then, around six p.m., I retired to the basement of Walker Memorial, where a bunch of freshmen and other MIT students were hanging. I would end up spending the next fifteen hours there, in effect pulling my first all-nighter. We devoured several bars of chocolate and talked about where we came from, how we were finding MIT so far. Then we played multiple games, from Never Have I Ever, in which I discovered I was missing out on a lot of life experiences, to an improvised version of Hide and Seek. Around 9 A.M., we decided to grab breakfast, and I zoned out while munching on waffles at the Simmons dormalso a first-time treatseeing white nothingness for a moment. I realized I needed to sleep, so I ate a little more, and made it back to my room, where I collapsed on the bed, overwhelmed and very, very happy. I passed out pretty quickly and woke up early evening. Ever since then, I’ve pulled several all-nighters. Many of them have been less fun, usually trying to complete a challenging problem set, or studying for an upcoming midterm. But many of them have been in the same spirit of that first all-nighter. On some good nights, my floormates and I at Random would just stay up, watching silly YouTube videos and arguing about silly nonsense, and I would glance at the window; lo and behold, the sun was rising. 3. First time building a robot. During Orientation Week at MIT, I took part in a program called DEECSDiscover Electrical Engineering and Computer Science, meant to introduce freshmen to the world of EECS. We were split into groups of three, and for an entire week, we were in charge of writing software and assembling hardware for a lego robot capable of navigating a color-coded maze, using photo-sensors. I would later get to play more with robots in full-fledged EECS classes during my time at MIT, at a higher level of sophistication, but you know what they say. You never forget your first robot. 4. First time eating a burrito. A mexican restaurant called Beantown Taqueria sits diagonally across Random Hall, my dorm, and I ventured in there during Orientation Week. I didn’t have to; every location at MIT was blessed with steak and ice-cream and nachos and pancakes (one moment while I heavily sob in memory of all that free food), but it was near enough and I was curious. I ordered a small, spicy chicken burrito and cut down the whole thing in seconds. I discovered I loved burritos. And tacos. And chimichangas. Since coming to the States, I’ve tried a variety of cuisinesThai, Indian, Chinese, Mediterranean, Ethiopianand as a self-proclaimed foodist, it’s been one of my greater pleasures and I’m constantly in discovery mode. Please e-mail me pictures of tasty-looking non-traditional meals. I’ll either seek them out in Boston, or have no choice but to eat my screen. 5. First time seeing a movie in 3D. A few months after my first semester at MIT, I ventured into AMC, the movie theater in Downtown Boston, and saw Captain America: Winter Soldier in IMAX 3D. Perched somewhere in the back of the theater, wolfing down sadly under-buttered popcorn and drinking overpriced Sprite from an oversized plastic cup, I watched Captain America defend his country’s honor in backdrops of explosions. It was awesome. 6. First time performing below average on an exam. Back in my Nigerian high school, I had nicknames like “Doctor Math” and “2390”. I worked my ass off on every assignment and prepared for every examination, and it paid off: I attained high grades and usually ranked at the top of the class. This crystallized an informal rule in my mind: I could always expect to see my hard work pay off in similar fashion, even at MIT. This myth was busted my very first semester, after my first Biology midterm. I spent a fair amount of time studying for this midtermfrom rewatching lecture videos online, to poring through my handwritten notes, to taking practice midtermsbut ended up scoring well below average, a somewhat crushing experience in a gloomy week. I remember sort of staring blankly at the grade, just before starting a problem set, and feeling my stomach fall. It was the first time I was situated in the bottom half of a class, and I guess my brain had trouble parsing that. This situation would occur a few more times throughout my semesters at MIT, and I would learn to take it much better, especially if I knew I’d prepared the best I could. 7. First time in prison. My first semester in MIT, I found myself in prison. In particular, the Massachusetts Correctional Institute (MCI), Framingham, an all-female prison. I was there as part of a philosophy class in the Concourse program, taught by Professor Lee Perlman, who also taught a class at MCI. We met with six inmates in a small classroom, where we talked about everything from Ancient Greek Philosophy to life beyond the walls of that room. 8. First time skydiving. Well, indoor skydiving, but stop being nitpicky. IT FELT LIKE I WAS FLYING. This actually happened less than a month into my freshman year at MIT. It was Rush Week, in which fraternities and sororities put out a ton of eventsand free food, long live free food in those glorious eternal ecstasy-filled early weeks of the academic yearfor freshmen to participate in. I spent virtually all of that week at Alpha Delta Phi, a place where I would make some amazing first-time memories (from playing Rock Band to eating lobsteror at least attempting to, and having its innards spray all over me in a grotesque assertion of dominance). One of the highlights of that week was getting to go indoor skydiving with the frat brothers. A dozen freshmen and a dozen brothers piled into a bus. Two hours later, we were at SkyVenture, a facility in New Hampshire where the best kind of dreams are realized. Turn by turn, we spent a few minutes each in a vertical wind tunnel, suspended, floating. Each turn was divided into two rounds. My first round, I had all the grace and stamina of an amputee giraffe on rollerblades, and was knocked around the glass walls of the tunnel. The second time around, I was able to maintain my balance, arms spread out, legs tucked above me. It felt like I was flying, flying, flying. I would spend the rest of the night replaying those moments. Funnily enough, the best part of the week probably came from singing It’s the Best Day Ever by Spongebob Squarepants alongside ADPhi brother Ryan Shepard. I can’t sing for squat (and I dont mean this in the cutesy can-sorta-sing-but-is-just-saying-this way, no, I actually cannot sing one tiny bit), but I let that voice rip, and he didn’t stop me. He sang along.   9. First time experiencing overt, in-your-face racism. When I look back on my time in the States, it’s often with a sense of belonging and gratitude. Places like MIT and Boston have become a comfortable home away from home. I’ve created meaningful friendships and built a fulfilling life here. But the fairytale, Wonderland-esque lens with which I’d often regarded the States got busted one very bad evening in Central Square, when I was falsely accused of theft in an extremely racist encounter. Upon realizing I wasn’t the thief, the man let go of me and walked away without an apology for his slur or his accusations, leaving me screaming at his back like an idiot. It was one of the worst experiences of my time in the States, and complicated my sense of belonging and identity. 10. First time identifying as black. USA has a race problem, one I began to perceive in greater detail when I left a home country of predominantly dark-skinned peopleso that the term “black” was never part of one’s identityand moved to a place where this skin color was situated within a minority. For the most part, it made no difference, but when it did, it really did. I fought for a while with this label, largely because I wasn’t quite sure how to reconcile my “African-ness” with the “African-American-ness” blackness often embodied. Black culture is a prevalent term that encompasses a wide swath of general experiences constructed around African American upbringingfrom music to hair to unique sentence structures to navigation around authorityand growing up in Nigeria positioned me away from much of this commonality. But then I realized that whatever perceptions non-black people had of blackness, whether malicious or indifferent, depended not on their ability to pore through my mind and see what kind of culture influenced my upbringing, but on the color of my skin. It really was that simple most of the time, and it bore ripple effects, in many ways structuring the nature of my interaction with people here, and with their expectations, and with my experiences. I came to accept and own blackness, as constructed in the States, as part of my m ultifaceted identity, and one to be proud of rather than ashamed of. 11. First time spending greater than forty hours on a single (biweekly) homework. That’s pretty self-explanatory.I hit the Submit button, tired and feeling vaguely drunk, probably a combination of a mushy brain and exhaustion and annoyance and relief. Shortly afterward, I discovered the time-saving wonders of office hours. 12. First time building a snowman. Before 2013, snow and snowmen were abstractions sometimes shown on TV or mentioned in novels. They might as well have been made-up elements of a science-fiction universe. Then I saw snow for the first time while running late for Ancient Greek Philosophy towards the end of 2013. Ran outside prepared to sprint my way to class, when I stopped in my tracks. Powders of snow were falling from the sky, dripping off frosty leaves and covering the roads in white sheets. It was beautiful. Two days later, the sheets became puddles and snow became annoying. But then Frozen happened, and made snow great again. In January 2015, one early morning, Kevin and I ventured into Killian Court where we lobbed snowballs at each other, made snow angels and worked together to build Olaf, my first and only snowman. He most likely melted to death later that afternoon. Oh well. 13. First time getting a technical A+. Grades are an important part of MIT, and I always work hard to achieve good grades, but after my first semester here, I learned that they were hardly the whole picture. Nevertheless, a memorable highlight of 2014 was taking 6.042, Mathematics for Computer Science, a class of weekly mental workouts, one that reminded me why I’d come into MIT intending to major in Mathematics, and why Computer Science was a natural extension of that desire. At the end of the semester, I got the following e-mail: It was my first technical A+ at MIT, and did much to quell some lingering doubts about whether I belonged here, and whether Computer Science was the right track for me. 14. First time creating a Youtube video. It was this video, created for one of my early blogs: I was a freshman then, and you can totally tell that the pset-deadened eyes and stoic cynicism induced by several months of weird sleep, cold weather and grueling midterms had not set in yet. Oh sweet summer child of 2013, you have a lot on the way. 15. First time experiencing a technical internship. This probably deserves its own blogpost, and I’ll talk about it in more detail in the future, but I landed my first technical internship the summer after my sophomore year. My biggest fear jumping into MIT intending to major in Computer Science was that I was entirely unprepared. I had zero programming experience, but I was talking to freshmen in orientation week who had been writing code since they were babies, who had their own apps, who were steeped in a world of formalized logic and technical jargon that sounded alien to my ears. They seemed like the ideal candidates for a CS major, not me. This fear persisted when I began searching for internships. Outside of classes, I had no tangible programming experience. Turns out I didn’t really need any. I attended a Google event in which engineers talked about their experience at the company, including an engineer who, were I even slightly more superstitious, I would have sworn the gods created and inserted into the event just for me. He talked about his shaky background prior to applying, his uncertainty with even initiating the process, and his subsequent success with the application process. He was having a blast at the company, “doing cool things that matter”. After the event, I prepared a resume, used MIT’s career office to get feedback on it, and applied to Google. Several e-mails and three technical interviews later, I got an offer letter. I spent that summer interning in Google’s Los Angeles office. My mind had conjured a very specific picture of what I wanted and expected from that experience. The picture paled in comparison to the real thing, and that remains one of the most memorable three months ever. In particular, I remember one night, laying down on my air mattress, and thinking, in a giddy sort of disbelief, that everything I wanted from life was slowly coming true. I did exciting work that summer, and again the next, this time in their Cambridge, Massachusetts office. 16. First time attending a music concert. Right after my internship in Los Angeles, I took a Greyhound bus to San Francisco where I attended my first, and so far, only concert. I would spend that night screaming, crying, dancing, singing and losing my voice, a dot in a wave of fifty thousand gyrating fans, waving glowsticks and lighting up Levi’s Stadium. 17. First time experiencing 1 year of uninterrupted electrical power. In Nigeria, electricity is a matter of arbitrariness: at any point in time, there’s a 50% chance of electrical power, so much so that my siblings and I would scream, “UP NEPA!” each time a dead bulb suddenly flickered to life (NEPA standing for National Electrical Power Authority, although this is now a dated abbreviation). In the consistent absence of electricity, my siblings and I had to devise alternative ways to entertain ourselves. For some of us, reading novels were the way to go. We also invented weird, fun games we’d play with each other, and spent inordinate amounts of time napping. As such, my time at MIT produced the first year where I experienced zero incidents of power outages. Constant electricity is something I hardly even notice anymore, except when I call home to speak to family, and they tell me about how NEPA has gotten worse lately. It’s a fairly mundane-sounding first-time experience, but there was a time when if you told me I’d experience a year like this, I’d tell you to stop drinking and get help. 18. First time having a panic attack. Spring 2016 was one of my roughest semesters at MIT. I felt overworked,I was often locked in my room, I was dealing with personal issues, and my sleep cycle was irregular. At some point, it became easier to ignore the signs of the decay than to face them head-on, and I spent every waking moment either buried in a problem set or on Netflix. One Friday afternoon, I got back to my room feeling strangely good, happy even. I microwaved some chicken, drank some Red Bull and took a nap. I woke up two hours later feeling a little weird. I realized I couldn’t feel my heart beat, and for a moment, was sure it had ceased to pump blood. But when I put a finger to my neck, I felt a steady pulse. You’re fine, I told myself. Except I didn’t feel fine. In fact, I felt worse. It felt like I was losing air, like breathing had switched from being a background process to a task of concerted effort. You’re not fine. What if you’re dying? Like right now? As soon as I thought it, it felt true. I could suddenly feel my heartbeat, and it was out of control, racing so fast, Something was very wrong. I left my room quickly and made it to the kitchen on my floor. It was empty. I ran up the stairs, completely freaking out at this point. People were on the floor above me; I blubbered what was going on to one of them. She told me I was probably having a panic attack, and had me sit in front of a TV and watch episodes of Family Guy until I calmed down. The panic attacks recurred a few times over the next several weeks, but between the first and the second, I stopped by MIT Medical, where I was referred to a psychologist Rebekah Kilman. We worked through several sessions, in which she assured me that the panic attack hadn’t been induced by the Red Bull (my initial and frankly dumb suspicion). It had everything to do with processing the different aspects of my life that I had subjugated to under the radar. I learned how to cope with my demons, even if it meant pushing back on schoolwork for a little bit, and an extended period of intense anxiety became milder by the summer and is (mostly) nonexistent now. I’ve heard mixed stories about people’s experiences with MIT Mental, but my experience with them was one of complete empathy, understanding and comfort. They helped me work through my issues the best way they could, and it made a positive difference. 19. First time having dinner at a professor’s home. I took my first creative writing class ever at MIT: Reading and Writing Short Stories with Professor Helen Lee (I also ended up taking Fiction Workshop and Advanced Fiction Workshop with her). Those classes significantly shaped the nature of the stories I wrote and how I structured them, and she is undoubtedly one of my favorite teachers ever. Even during low points of the year, she remained a beacon of light, often checking on how I was doing even in semesters I wasn’t taking any of her classes. I had dinner a few times with her and her family, most recently November of last year during thanksgiving, and in those times, it was like stepping into a bubble, where worries ceased to exist, leaving only room for good food and meaningful conversation, often about race and about writing and about life. 20. First time getting a novel published. I took a gap year between high school and college, in which time I worked on a novel. It got published my freshman year at MIT, and I returned to Nigeria the following summer to help promote it. Reading it again now, I see how differently I would structure the book were I to rewrite it, but it sold well, made several thousand dollars and people liked it. That was more than enough for me, and I’m proud of it. I’m currently working on another novel, Nkem, a word in my language that translates to Mine. It’s been gathering dust in the cobwebs of my mind for a while now, but I’m excited to spend a good chunk of this month working on it, before the next semester rolls around and starts kicking. 21. First time trying to chart the rest of my life. and realizing that I don’t have to. When I think about my life thus far, I realize there’s been a great degree of structure to it, six years of grade school, followed by six years of secondary school, followed by a gap year filled with writing and eating, followed by four years of MIT. And then whatfifty years of work, followed by retirement? I’ve never really deeply thought about life after MIT beyond the high-level desires of wanting to write stories and write code and travel. There have been some aspects that (until now) I took for granted, as certain to happen, and thus never fully inspeced. Like having a family. But as graduation draws closer, and as I start to think of the “real world” awaiting, I’ve been wondering about stuff like this. Isn’t it weirdhaving a little version of Vincent in my arms? Some dorky-looking baby reaching for my cheeks with tiny little fingers. Isn’t that surreal? And sure, I don’t have to think about having kids yet, but at some point, I will, and I don’t think I can get over that strange notion of what it would mean to bring a child into planet Earth. Or to share a bed with a soulmate for decades. Someone to love and wake up next to each morning and fight over optimal blanket appropriation. Should we divide the blankets equally? Would going by approximate body weight be more reasonable? A duel perhaps? Can we just get several gigantic comfy blankets and lay snuggled under ALL OF THEM? Can adults just do that, just buy a ton of comfy blankets? And what happens if ten years into the relationship, things start to fail and I start to hate them, or they start to hate me? What if it’s two-sided? What if it’s not? One-sided is way worse, resentment buried under a forced air of love, truth held back by the paradoxical need to preserve their happiness. And how much truth should ever be sacrificedhow much of your truth, for the sake of their happiness? I’m having all these weird ruminations about everything, from the kind of career I will have to the kind of place I will live. Ten years from now. Twenty years from now. It’s all very theoretical, and all very unnecessary, because at this point in the space-time continuum, I’m a 20-year-old kid in college trying to get a degree. 20. People have lived my life five times over that are still alive. I don’t know squat. I don’t need to figure out squat. But yet, the thoughts, the questions, are in my head fairly often, and I’m increasingly resigned to just winging it. Just seeing where things go. All I know is, I’ve experienced a lot of good things for the first time over the last few years. Coming to MIT has inarguably, definitively, made my life better and more fulfilled, often in ways I could have never anticipated. To a point, anticipation is overrated. Hope is more important. Knowing you have things to look forward to, even if you’re not quite certain of the shape they’ll take. And I know this. I can’t wait to discover what new experiences will populate my life. Whatever they are, I do know that they’re on the horizon, and as far as questions about the future go, maybe that’s all I need to know. For right now at least. Here’s to a life of many more firsts. Post Tagged #mental health